Current rewrite of the story

So this is the closest i have got to combining my story with a genuine narrative. It's definitely getting there and I'm happy with the progress but i can image I'll be adapting this a few times yet.

I'm not 100% sure where I would like to go in industry yet but from what I am beginning to understand about narrative and story telling it's a really useful and interesting subject. I'm surprised that I have read about Carl Jung's psychology underpinning most of the character dynamics in Hollywood films. 

So the following is what i'm loosely basing my animation on. This is an extract from the book discussing how to take a big idea and scale it down so it's suitable for an animation short.

This will translate into the following structure:

• A character wants something badly

• Something happens that moves him to action

• He meets with conflict

• Things get worse until the character is in crisis

• He nearly loses all

• Learns a lesson

• Makes a hard choice

• In order to succeed

And this is a rough copy of how the story may go, but it'll probably evolve a few times yet.

Shot 1:  Close shot of a bolt twinkling in the sun; beak comes into shot and pick the bolt up.

Shot 2:  Interior shot of the nest, the magpie’s partner is in the nest waiting for the magpie

             Male Magpie comes home with the bolt and drops in on the floor in front of the female magpie

Male magpie is looking at the perch as the female magpie fades away, as this happens it becomes apparent the female magpie isn’t alive and in her place is a large amount of sparkly possessions.  The male magpie has become obsessed with material objects and has lost the sparkle in his eyes

*This shot is the insightful moment where the story begins and in addition is designed to give a bond based on pity and empathy between the audience and the character*

Shot 3: The magpie’s attention briefly looks at a robin flying passed.

Shot 4: The robin is in a tree singing on a sunny day

*The purpose of this character is to act the opposite way to the magpie, to act as a type of resolution and to highlight the magpie’s flaws*

Shot 5: Magpie is seen flying from the nest and spotting another shiny trinket.

Shot 6:  Magpie is seen poking is head through the nest dropping the trinket, rolling it around the floor a few times.

Shot 7: Magpie is seen flying from the nest in search of more trinkets.

Montage:  A series of shots back to back showing the magpie dropping trinkets from the door of his nest to the floor.

Fade to black

Shot 8:  Robin following then eating an ant from the bark of a tree

             *This shot is designed to show how nature intended foraging to happen*

Shot 9:  Point of view, robin looking at the magpies nest

*there will be some sort of bond happening between the robin and the magpie around this point so the end makes more sense*

Shot 10: Panning shot, showing the magpie in his nest trapped by the surroundings which cover the entrance and block out light, magpie dips head and goes to sleep

Fade to black

*The viewer is unsure of whether the magpie is alive or dead at this point*

Shot 11: A wide shot framing the corner of the magpie’s house, looking at robins flying and chasing each other

*This shot is designed to keep the viewer in suspense as to whether the magpie is alive*

Shot 12: Low shot of the ground for a few seconds before: bolt falls to the floor, then another item drops, then an item that has been previously referenced drops to the floor

Shot 13: The robin can be seen looking at the nest, inside the nest cannot be seen but various things are still dropping from the entrance

Shot 14: The magpie sticks his head out of the entrance squinting, throwing yet another bolt from the nest

Shot 15: The robin starts singing

Shot 16: The magpie flies, hovers and lands a little way from the robin and eats a berry off a branch

Shot 17: A panning shot goes from the two birds on a branch to passed the old bird box which is looking faded and pointless, the two birds fly passed the bird box one after the other chirping

Shot 18: a shot of the “trinkets” on the floor below the nest showing signs of rust as the credits roll

For the magpie and the robin to interact at the end some something will have to happen between them earlier in the story This could be:

Robin flying up to the nest to give the magpie food

Robin flying in the nest and neither bird being bothered

Magpie watching the robin through the entrance of the nest, robin watching back

Working on narrative ...

I have refined the storyline a lot today and decided to be a little more conventional with the narrative, giving it a proper resolute ending. This is because I've been reading the book "Ideas for the Animated Short". If your struggling to add structure to your narrative it's a great book to look at. Below are the notes I have been updating as I was reading the book.

Conflicts create problems, obstacles, and dilemmas that place the character in some form of danger or jeopardy, either physically, mentally or spiritually. This means that there will be something at stake for the character if they do not overcome the conflict.

The conflict is the hoarding and obsessive collecting of the foil etc. This creates the problem of the nest becoming full and introduces jeopardy when the magpie cannot leave or move in the nest due to the rubbish.

Inciting Moment. In every story, the world of the character is normal until something unexpected happens. This unexpected event begins the story.

It is thought that the magpie is collecting the shiny possessions for his partner, it is revealed early in the story that the partner is not alive.

Story Question. The inciting moment will set up questions in the mind of the audience that must be answered by the end of the story

A montage of cuts will show the magpie returning to the nest to drop of various trinkets. They may wonder were all the trinkets are going to go but before the reveal the camera cuts to the robin leaving the audience with questions.

Theme. Stories have meaning to the character and to the audience. The theme or concept is the underlying larger idea that the animation communicates. It is the deeper meaning of the story

The overall theme and message is to avoid consumerism and to realise that possessions don’t make you happy and can in fact own you.

Need. In order for the story to have meaning to the character, he or she needs to learn something to achieve the goal.

This is the main issue with the story currently; the character does not learn anything and dies as a result.

The magpie could observe the robins behaviour through a crack in the nest where he is trapped and learn from him, the robin could bring the magpie food and remove the rubbish that is keeping him trapped. The magpie would have learnt to be social and change his ways. The ending would show the magpie singing with the rest of the birds and the nest old, decaying and pointless. This would in-turn show the arc of the character and resolution of the story.

This raises the question should a formula be stuck to when writing a story or be deconstructed to provide a slightly different story.

In the first act, pity and empathy must be established for the hero so that the audience cares about the character and will engage in his pursuit. Then, the second act is the scene of suffering and challenge, creating fear and tension surrounding the hero and his challenges. In the final act, fear and tension are released by catharsis, the emotional release that allows for closure to end the story

In the opening scenes the magpie could be seen isolated from other birds.

Two perches could be seen in the nest as though a partner bird has recently been there

The magpie could have a limp or broken wing making it a struggle to move / fly

The act of the magpie looking at the other birds socialising could be enough to instil pity

The cathartic act could be the magpie pecking through the rubbish that has been collected and throwing it out of the nest.

Things to think about ...

After speaking to my tutor Jaime Pardo today I have a few other areas to look into:

• Should the message also incorporate all the waste humans dispose of or solely about this idea?
• Could the animation be from the robins point of view or should the contradictions run parallel?
• Should the story be more streamlined and simply be about a magpie keep adding to his nest and becoming trapped by his own possessions?
• Should the animation be stylised or photo-realistic?

In addition to the above concerns i also have an issue thinking of a research question to suite this project, possibilities:

• Which style is better for a serious subject; realistic or stylised?
• How important is a narrative when producing a short animation?
• Is the increased render time of final gather & global illumination when computing realistic shadows worth the overall effect?
• Can Maya's custom software create scenes aesthetically as good as Mental Ray?

  

And finally in addition to the above here is a short list of things that need to be researched 

• Create a mood board of colours, styles and textures to be used in the animation
• Research how birds move and act
• Read "Ideas for the animated short" to help with narrative Refine and complete the story / narrative

Initial Idea

I have had the following idea for about a month, the style is likely to be be realistic, possibly even photo-realistic. I aim for the animation to last around 2 minutes and I plan to study the narrative of the animation in depth to allow the story to unfold at a good pace.

The main protagonist of the story is a magpie, this magpie leaves his nest on a daily basis and goes flying. As he is out flying he'll notice sparkly, shiny and interesting objects, these will be brought back to his nest and stored. As the animation goes on it becomes apparent that the magpie doesn't really play or use these objects and instead is avoiding boredom. A quick succession of cuts allows the viewer to see the magpie is in a routine.

One day when the magpie is out he sees a small bike light, he manages to take this flashing light back home and places it in his nest. The magpie is transfixed with the flashing light and he begins to stare at it, as he stares he eats worms from a bucket. The magpie periodically gets bored with the light and goes foraging for more objects, the same thing happens; he looks at what he has just found, moves it around with his beak and places it on a pile with the rest of the "treasure". A video montage shows the bird repeatedly coming back to the nest with something new for the pile. Cut with this are the magpie in his dark nest transfixed with the bike light, eating worms.

In contrast to this character the viewer see's a robin fly by the nests circular door, this character is the contrast to the magpie. The robin is a social bird who is often out with nature singing and enjoying the sun.

When one of the cuts from the robin to the magpie happens after the video montage the viewer can see that the magpie has gained weight and lost the sparkle in his eyes. When he flies he flies slow and for short periods of time, because of this he spends more and more time inside the nest watching the bike light and eating worms. He just about manages to collect more shiny, sparkly objects. Towards the end of the animation the camera begins a circular pan of the nest starting from the light, passed the numerous object and possessions the magpie has aimlessly collected and as the camera comes to the end of the pan the magpies head has dipped and he has passed away.

From this shot the camera cuts to the robin eating berries in a tree with fellow robins all singing on a summers day. The robin has no possessions and instead focuses on having fun and being social.

So my main concerns so far are how bleak and depressing this story is! I'm not sure whether to tone it down or keep it harsh, i think if i keep it harsh and the animation and narrative are done right it could be quite powerful.